For a while, I just stand. Today I feel old; I _feel_ all the many hundreds of subjective years I've lived, no matter my youthful appearance. "Beloved wife and mother" -- I almost expect the hand of the Ghost of Christmas Future on my shoulder. Mortality is universal: the technology that Morgan and Aol created has more power to destroy than I can reverse. I'm reminded of Morgan's Trump. I want to know, but I'm afraid. Bringing her back was my greatest achievement, my great shout "No!" to everything she stood for in her construction's creation. Will the Trump tell me that even that hope was in vain? Today I envy Threnody.

For a while, I just stand. I feel too cynical to cry, but something brought me here. I pull back my hood to let the (sun/chill breeze/whatever) touch me; I need the contact with the real world. I close my eyes and tilt back my head to let the (sun/rain/breeze) wash over my face. Why did he bury her here? Was this one of her favorite places? Were they happy together? Did they have any children? I think of Halifirien, and the sudden pain stabs me in the breast, bringing me to my knees. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you!" I sob, over and over. I don't know who I'm crying to, the woman beneath me or my long-distant son, maybe both.

Some time later, I try to collect myself. "Physician, heal thyself", I think, laying my hand on Iss Hogai's hilt. I'm reminded of the tale of Michelle and Lubani, and young Necrodemus' spell. I consider the makers of things: Morgan, Champion, Troy; where is the real power? "Thank you," I say to my imagining of the woman whose mortal shell lies a few feet below me. It's time to go home.

eressea's speech to the eressenes

I'll spend time with them, getting to know them better as people. If there are doubts, fears or concerns, I'll work to understand them. I'll share in organized rituals and impromptu get-togethers. I want every individual to be motivated in the direction that best complements their abilities and desires, and best heals their fears and works within their limitations. The leaders are not forgotton; effective leadership and guidance are critical skills needed by the Eressene organization.

--Eressea