Date: Thu, 14 Oct 1999 16:14:33 -0700
From: Threnody
TO: Muriel
Subject: Re: need the info
hey Muriel grrrl, whasssup?  
that hobbit dude, Crimson Grey, is like helping out this other dude named
Simon. it's sort of like a magical scavenger hunt. Simon sends Crimson to
find twenty different things.
you see, this guy Simon is walking in this magical maze called the Pattern.
it's a weird Hall of Mirrors. there are twenty special magic mirrors showing
twenty special reflections. each time Simon sees a special kind of magic
mirror, the hobbit dude Crimson has to find the place the mirror views,
and see it for real. 
like you know when the evil queen says, "mirror mirror on the wall, who's
the fairest one of all?" then her mirror, it like, talks back to the evil
queen, proves he's a peeping tom on sleeping beauty or snow white or whatever
chick? well, Simon's twenty magic mirrors see more than just the twenty hottest
chicks. Simon's mirrors also see the twenty most studly beefcakes, and
more: twenty best vacation hot spots, and twenty killer wicked swords, and a
lot of other sets of twenty best-of-the-bunch kinds of things. 
all these twenty places and swords and hunks are all outside the Hall of
Mirrors, and some are WAY FAR away, so Crimson dude has a lot of ground
to cover in order to see them at the same time Simon sees them in the
mirror.
but this Crimson dude, he doesn't, like, know about the hot chicks or
studly hunks, and he's just learning about the vacation spots. so far
all Crimson dude really knows about for sure is twenty honking deadly
morganti swords, one is a part of each mirror. so instead of vacationing
in the 20 coolest beaches and touring the 20 most neato castles of the
world, this Crimson hobbit dude is spending all his time like tracking
down the 20 wicked swords and hoping none of them get stuck in his heart.
you know? 
anyways, the bad shit hits the fan if Simon gets to one of them Magic
Mirrors and Crimson's not out there seeing with his naked eyes what the
special mirror reflects. if this happens then Simon's mirror ... traps
Simon inside. forever. well, a long time. real long time. nearly forever.
and when he gets out, he's pissed.
so if Simon is trapped, then he won't be able to save the world from the
army of Illithids. you know, Illithids, those yukki things that ate the
brains of the Crimson Hobbit Dude, and those two other unlucky dudes that
were hanging around the wrong place at the wrong time when i sent you to
spy for me last Halloween.
so for this Halloween, like, i'll send you out again to help them find one
of the worstest of the bad ass killer wicked swords. Halloween is a very
bad time to look for these morganti swords; just to keep them safe, so
i'll let you take along a can of whup-ass, and when the going gets tough,
you take out that can, drink it down, and then you can whup-ass on who ever
bad guys stand in your way.
Kapish? 
greater princess of the evil drow devils,
your queen,
Threnody
P.S. great buns on that bartender; good choice. 
At 04:54 PM 10/3/99 -0700, Muriel wrote:
>Hiya gal,
>        So what is this hobbit dude up to? and why in the hell is he trying
>to bother me while I'm on VACAY? I was like SO in the middle of seducing
>this young bartender at the Happy Toad. I had to totally ignore my little
>hobbit friend- hope things went sooper dooper- but if not- too bad soo sad.
>Anyhoo I just was wondering what that was all about. If you know maybe, now
>that I've had my way with the barkeep ( and not too mention secured a
>lifetime of free beer :)  - I  can get of my very satisfied ass [don't give
>me that look until you've tried it] and help.  BTW I need some info on all
>this bull shit anyway. I am a little confused on the whole walking the
>spiral thing or what ever this simon guy is doing. And what in the hell can
>I do to fight? I am like So bored with just using my sexual talents- I
>totally need to excercise my sword weilding skills to smash and crash - and
>slice and dice!!!!!!! Please give me a task or something. And is this whole
>thing what we want? I mean hell what is the point in helping these guys if
>we have no personal stake in it? I don't know. Just tell me everything you
>can. ( Morin just appeared, looked over my shoulder, and muttered to himself
>"spiral thing?"- and then disappeared - I don't know he's a freaky thing
>don't you know. Somebody that indifferent just puts me on edge sometimes.
>He's always just popping in and out nd muttering- he's just a freak of
>nature.) But I digress. What I am talkin' about is info. Your the boss have
>the info - I'm the flunky need the info. Help me out - oky doky? talk to ya
>soon.
>
>love ya bye,
>Muriel