> Howdy girl
> Guess what? I've got a faboo piece of jewlery- check it out- THE 
> RING OF AMARA! Jealous! It's sooooo cool and stuff. I can get a 
> tan now! No more pasty legs for me. Just won-derin' though... 
> what else can it do? I've heard the rumors, ya know 'all 
> powerful' - 'invincible' - 'immortal' which is cool and all. It's like 
> a total bonus I want a tan and now I can't be killed-KICK ASS. 
> But before I go testing the theory, perhaps you could gimme 
> the skinny on this little trinket. 
> Oh yeah I hooked up with these bird chicks and they rule! But 
> you have to admit CHICKS RULE! No matter what! Anyhoo 
> we're doing this girl power birdy traing and it is soooooo 
> fun. Manipulation is not lying- it's a reorganization of truths
> ...or someting like that. 
> Oh Oh Oh...more question's. What is up with this red blaze or 
> red burning or red death I don't know its some thing like that. 
> And I'm not talking about red light - whenever that wrist 
> slasher dude pulls a brave new world on ya'. 
> Also I met up with this creepy tall guy with a third eye made 
> of emerald- I really couldn't get that close so I am not sure 
> what was up with that. But check it out, I didn't want to be 
> rude so Ringer and I (another chick I met) walked over to 
> say hey and we both got like major migranes. The closer 
> we got the worse- naturally we did a 180 and went straight 
> back to the bar (we were in the happy toad). Man hind-sight 
> is 20/20 I totally wish I had told that guy to turn his mojo 
> down so I could meet him- he seemed in desperate need 
> of a good lay. And he had big hands if ya know what I mean. 
> Now that I think about it that night was very wierd- listen up 
> all the guys in that joint, and that joint was hoppin', had 
> green glowy eyes and green glowy swords and according 
> to No-neck Joe (my bartender babe) they were tippin' really 
> well- which is stranger still because Joe is not that good a 
> barkeep. AND to top it all off in the bal-cony another dude 
> who, BTW was not all glowy, was givin' off some some crazy 
> ass, serial killer, canibalistic, voodoo vibe too. I tell ya I've 
> got to find me another hang out the Happy Toad is getting 
> to be even too much for little ol' me. Not that I couldn't 
> handle myself. Whatever-Anyway...your thoughts and 
> answers would just rule! 
> love ya bye 
> Muriel 
--


Say Hey, Muriel!
I'm  a bit groggy today, cuz I've just been killed. Immortality is great, 
don't get me wrong, but sometimes I feel that Life has blown a great big
hole through me. This automatic reincarnation shit is NOT painless. Be careful
about going out at night. Ever since Halloween, all the stars in the night
sky give off this Blue Light that burns worse than the Suns during the day.
Yuk. Turned me into a pile of Dust. Ouch. I got better.
As near as I can tell, your pretty new bauble should protect from this new
Blue Light stuff. The ring was made from a "Mara," which is another of
those ancient bad-ass Slaver creatures like that sleeping Thrint your
friends were scared of a while back. Matter of fact, the cave where the
Thrint was sleeping was built for a Mara. Anyway, I bet the ring makes you
Fourth or maybe Fifth Rank, which means KICK ASS, pretty much Invincible to
magic and weapons. I don't think a +4 weapon will hurt you but a +5 might.
This means 99% of all people can't touch you girl! KEWL! But don't go
messing with the top dogs: stay away from Powers: Dragonbones and  Slavers
and Gods and Turfholders, and Coven Druids and Roke Mages and you'll be
fine. And one more thing. If you start going crazy, let me know RIGHT AWAY.
We may have to chop off your finger to get the ring off. Have you already
begun and ended an adventure with it on your finger? I bet when you wear
the ring too long, it'll grow into your finger and you'll turn into a Mara
Slaver chick yourself. Boo-scary. Dominatrix Muriel. Watch out for that
mind control shit. Want a leather whip to go with that?
So who gave you the ring, grrl? Was he cute? Did you get his name and
address? Tell me more. 
Chicks rule, and now you been to Queen School for real. Only the hottest
babes ever get accepted at Bird keep, so You Go Girl!  Madame Bird is way
cool. She teaches you how to lead guys around by their ... wait--don't guys
already follow that on their own? I helped Madame Bird set up Bird Keep a
few years ago when I was a horny guy. Horny guy--Is that redundant?
Ha ha. I bet you ran into one of my Red Heat traps. Watch out; it's very
hot. It'll melt your dark elf metal, maybe even the ring of a Mara. Red
Heat is nuthin' like Red Light. You been around the block a time or two so
you shouldn't never have to worry about Red Light or slasher dude, but Red
heat is another story.
Creepy tall dude with a migrainti weapon? No brainer, grrl!. You met King
of the Kamarg Elfar, a pompous Dude named Doorie Hawkmoon. He's had a huge
honkin Peridot jammed in his forehead by the Dwarf God, so I don't think
there was any room for brains left, but --whoo boy! Aint he cute! Big
hands, and I'll never forget his tight little ... ahem. He's always
training elf armies, so he keeps himself in pretty good shape. If
Hawkmoon's wearing an Emerald now, he's made a deal with them Kin of Troy
people. (Watch out for Kin. They be F*CKING ruthless and greedy like you
never seen before! Never show them your wallet.) And I have to say, you
made a good observation. Hawkmoon's been on the prowl lately 'cuz someone
offed his main squeeze, the late Lady Yisselda. I think they whacked her
'cuz she learned from Syrinara how to do the Big Dance and the Big Dance
teacher was afraid she would start to teach someone without his permission.
I shed no tears. This Lady Yissie was a replicant inhabited by Doorie's
reformed morganti id, not a real woman at all, just a magic living playtex
doll, but Doorie loved her so of course now he's pissed and horny. Someone
used a Rod of Cancellation that popped her playtex bubble forever. Doorie's
sword still kills with Morganti death, that's what gives you the headaches,
so I would not want to be Yissie's assassin when Horny Hawkmoon catches up.
But you know, there's only one way to comfort a grieving widower...
Green glowy eyes? Eeewww. You need to stay clear of green. Far away. Like
the next city is still too close. Green glowies are bad news. You ever hear
the legends of the Locnar from the "Heavy Metal" cycle? The Locnar's green
glow gets you and it won't wash off. "Yes Master, whatever you say Master."
hand in hand with "Mom. Dad. Don't touch it. It's evil." That kind of
thing. And the guy in the balcony who turns them green is majorly THE
WORST. He's like the twin brother of Nemesis, and they groove to the same
music. Actually they are triplets: Nemesis, Renfrew, and Hannibal Lecter.
Don't say the names out loud unless you want to play their game. I'd rather
slice my throat than let them touch me.
By the way, keep your eye out for magic items that help you Dance or Dream.
Stop by Flambeau if you find any? I'm especially on the look out for
obsidian statues of women with four arms, or likenesses of Olivia
Newton-John and Gene Kelley, or life sized gold statues of old Korean men.
Big Mojo. 
later, 
Threnody